What Initiating Texts Really Mean: Proactivity Psychology

In the early stages of dating, during the so-called ‘썸 (some)’ period (a Korean term for the ambiguous stage between friendship and relationship), the most nerve-wracking moment is probably the time spent waiting, “When will I get a text?” The act of initiating contact, i.e., ‘선톡 (seontok)’ (texting first), is the clearest indicator of initiative and favorability in a relationship.

1. Initiating Texts = ‘Inviting You into My World’

Starting a conversation is an act of investing time and energy to open the lines of communication. If you receive a casual initiating text like “What are you doing?” or “It’s really cold today” without any particular reason, it implies the following psychology:

• Reduced Distraction: Evidence that you remain in their mind even in a busy daily life.
• Expectation of Interaction: Anticipation of the enjoyment of the conversation that will follow from my initiating text.

Initiating texts with a purpose (work, official information) are irrelevant to favorability, but initiating texts with ‘purpose-free sharing of daily life’ is a signal of positive favorability with a probability of over 90%.

2. The Ratio of Ping-Pong: The 50-50 Rule

A relationship in which only one person unilaterally sends initiating texts is unlikely to last healthily. A true green light appears when the ratio of interaction is balanced, like a ‘voluntary ping-pong game’.

• Healthy 썸 (some): If I sent an initiating text yesterday, the other person naturally sends an initiating text first today, creating an equal ping-pong state.
• Warning Sign (Red Light): If the ratio of initiating texts is unilaterally led by me, such as 9:1 or 10:0, the other person may simply be a ‘passive helper’ who just responds.

3. The Power of ‘Morning Greetings’ for Two Consecutive Days

In terms of time, the most powerful initiating text is a greeting immediately after waking up, such as “Are you awake?”, “Good morning!” 😴

The moment after waking up is when a person’s subconscious is most active. The fact that you are the first person who comes to mind at this time is strong evidence of attachment, indicating they want to share the start of their day with you.

If the other person has voluntarily sent a morning greeting for two consecutive days, it is a perfect green light 🚦 that you no longer need to doubt. Now it’s your turn to give reassurance.